Posted in fanfiction, reader insert, tony stark

Painful Secrets

Painful Secrets: An Iron Man Fanfic

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Square:  @iron-man-bingo – secret relationship

Rating:  M

Warning:  Sexual situations, a little foreplay, angst

Word Count:  1430

Pairing:  Tony Stark x F!Reader

Summary:  After you wake up with Tony in your bed, the nature of your secret relationship is questioned.

Painful Secrets

You were already asleep when the bedroom door opened and Tony made his way into your room.  He sighed when he saw you, sleeping peacefully and debated leaving again.

He couldn’t be caught waking up here after all.  You’d both decided that until you were both sure that this fling you had was serious or not it was better if no one knew about it.  Considering you were already asleep there wasn’t really much he could do except lie with you for a little while and then leave again.

Well, there was the whole, waking you up with sex thing you’d suggested, but last time he tried that you’d kicked him in the face and he’d had to make up some story about DUM-E hitting him with a fire extinguisher.

He hovered by the door, but the pull to intimacy was stronger than the push of getting caught.  He stripped down to his boxers.  The room filled with the blue light that radiated out from the arc reactor when he took his shirt off and wasn’t dulled again until he climbed under the covers with you.

Normally Tony liked to be the little spoon.  He liked wearing the backpack that was the weight of your body on his.  He slept better like that.  Even if he did have to set an alarm for 3 am to make sure he snuck out before Steve was up.

Tonight he curled himself around you, burying his face in your neck and pulling his body as tight as he could to yours.  You stirred just a little but quickly stilled and resumed the steady slow breathing letting him know you were deep asleep.

He had planned to just lie and hold you for a while before sneaking off.  To just breathe you in and be with you.  Even if it was just lying together while you slept.  Then he was going to leave and head back up to the penthouse and try and catch one sleep cycle.

That was his plan anyway.  Instead, he fell into a deep sleep that he didn’t wake from until the sun was creeping through the curtains.  For a moment it didn’t really sink in that he wasn’t supposed to be here.  He was comfortable, well-rested and you were there with him.

He nuzzled into your neck and ran his hands over you.  One hand cupping your breast while the other slid down to your cunt.  He palmed it slowly and lazily and you hummed and rolled over in his arms.  One of your legs went between his thighs, and you began to grind on his thigh as you wrapped your arms around him and kissed his chest.

He made a low humming sound and ran his hands down you your ass.  “Morning, honey.”

“Wait…”  You said pulling back slowly.  “What time is it?”

“It’s 9.14 AM, miss,”  FRIDAY replied.

You scrambled back.  “Shit.  Shit, everyone will be up already.”

“Hey, it’s alright.  So they find out about us.  Is that so bad?”  Tony asked sitting up.  “Come back over here.”

“Tony, I’m not ready for them to know.  I still don’t know what we actually are.”  You said grabbing his clothes up off the ground and throwing them at him.

Tony gathered them up and got up off the bed coming over to you and wrapping you in his arms.  “Look.  I know we started with just the random hookups, but we’re more than that aren’t we?”

“Yes.  No.  I don’t know.  I just… Tony… I thought we agreed to keep it quiet.”

He kissed your shoulder and up your neck.  “Are you ashamed of this?”

You shook your head and leaned back against him a little.

He let out a breath in relief.  He’d been worried about that.  That the reason you had agreed so readily when he’d suggested that the two of you keep things under wraps, it was because you didn’t want to be seen with him.  “Then what?  Do you not want it to be more?”

You turned and looked into his eyes, your hands going to his hips.  “I’m afraid, Tony.  We’re good at this.  It’s low pressure.  No one is asking us about kids or wedding bells.  They are making fun of us for being all cutsie.  There’s no press hounding us for comments.  No paps lurking in the bushes.  No rabid fangirls attacking me on the internet for being, not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, a gold digger, a slut, all the things they can think of because it’s not them.  It’s just us when we feel like it.  We don’t have to think about the future or the public or our friends.  We can just enjoy each other.”

Tony shook his head and pulled away.  He pulled on his shirt and began to button it back up.  “See that’s the problem.”  He said.  “You say we can do it when we want, only I’m here now and you’re chasing me out.  I don’t want to set an alarm at three am to avoid Cap catching us.”

You sighed and sagged where you stood.  “What if it’s too much?  This was working.”

“Yeah.  I’m not so sure.”  He said and pulled on his pants.

You turned and watched as he got dressed.  “Tony.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure no one sees me.  No one has to know I was here.  Your precious reputation won’t be ruined.”

“Tony.  Please.”  You implored as he sat down and pulled his shoes on.

He didn’t say anything.  He didn’t want to.  In the past, he’d always stuck with one-night-stands.  One-night-stands were safe.  He didn’t know those people.  It was one night of hot sweaty fun and then he was out and in 95% of cases he never saw them again.  There were no messy feelings to get in the way.  When he let himself actually have feelings for someone he wanted to be with them.  He knew he was probably going to get hurt, but by the time he had gotten to the point of pursuing them, it was too late to stop it.  This ‘friends-with-benefits’, ‘let’s see what happens’, ‘keep it secret’, bullshit thing he’d tried with you had been a mistake.

He got up and headed for the door and you grabbed his arm.  “Tony.  So this is it?  It’s over?”

“You like the fuck buddies thing.  I get it.  You looked at me and saw the whole playboy past and thought I’d be safe.  That I wouldn’t get attached.  But that’s not how I work.  You didn’t want to get hurt, well neither do I.  So, yeah.  It’s over.”  He snapped.

“That’s not what…”

“I need more!  I know I’m a shit boyfriend, partner, whatever, but I don’t want to spend the rest of my life sneaking around and pretending I don’t love you when I do.”  He shouted.

You opened your mouth and then closed it again.  “You – you love me?”

He pulled away from you.  That had been a mistake.  He wasn’t even sure how he managed to get those particular words out in that exact order.  He definitely didn’t think he had it in him to say them again.  “It doesn’t matter.  You want something that’s low pressure, just some fun.  Maybe go speak to Clint.”

He began to storm to the door and just as he pulled it open you call out to him. 

“I love you too.”

He wheeled around and looked at you.  “What did you say?”

“I said… I said I love you too.”  You said.  “I don’t want Clint.  I want you.”

He closed the door and moved back into the room a little.  “Can we stop sneaking around?”

“Yes.”  You said.  “Tony, I thought… I thought there was an expiry date on this.  I thought if I let myself get too invested it would scare you off and then I’d have to be one more of the women you’d been through.”

“First of all… ouch.”

“Don’t pretend you don’t have a reputation.”  You shot back.

He went to say something in response but ended up just shaking his head.  You approached him slowly like you were worried any sudden movements might make him run or lash out.  He wasn’t totally convinced that he wouldn’t.

When you reached him you took his hands in yours and looked deep into his eyes.  “I love you, Tony.  Let’s go back to bed.”

He smiled and let you lead him back to the bedroom, ready to actually make this thing real.

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