Posted in fanfiction, tony stark

Pâro

Tony Stark Genfic
Synopsis:  Tony is sure that every choice he’s made has taken him further and further away from being happy.
Prompt: Tony Stark + Pâro

pâro – n. the feeling that no matter what you do is always somehow wrong

He wanted to be happy.  Or at least he thought he did.  Sometimes he wondered if there was part of him that must not, considering every single decision he made seemed to end up pushing people away.  Build an AI to protect people, it ends up trying to kill everyone.  Find a way to keep his family together and have them scatter, leaving him alone.  Build a suit to protect the people he loved only to have them criticize you for it and then ultimately be pulled away from them.

He felt like there was something he was missing.  Like everyone else had been given a clear set of instructions for how to proceed through life and end up with all the things you need.  Where he was just blundering around in the dark and making every mistake he could.

He wanted happiness.  He really did.  He had chased it for so long in so many ways.  The sex and drugs and drinking being a temporary fix of what happiness might feel like when he got it.  Yet it somehow isolated him further and made it less possible to achieve in any real way.  He wanted his friends to be with him.  He wanted to be a good mentor to Peter.  He wanted his dad to be proud.  He wanted to marry Pepper and have children and raise them.  To love them in a way that his own father had never loved him.

Instead… he was alone.  On a ship in space.  The dust from what was left of Peter when he disintegrated in his arms still staining his clothes.  He was out of food and water and soon he would be out of oxygen.  Maybe that euphoria you feel as your brain starves is as close to happiness as he was going to get.  At least this way he couldn’t make any more mistakes.

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