Posted in bucky barnes, fanfiction, reader insert, steve rogers, stucky

The Pain in Serendipity – 29

The Pain in Serendipity – A Captain America Fanfic

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Character Pairing:  Steve Rogers x F!Reader, Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers

Rating: E

Word Count: 2817

Warnings: none

Synopsis:   When Thanos snaps his fingers it takes your daughter and Steve Rogers’ first love with it.  Together you pick up the pieces, falling in love and building a family together.  Finding serendipity in your shared trauma.  When opportunity comes to bring back those who are lost comes with the risk of more loss for you both.  Is it worth taking the risk?


Chapter 29

“Bucky!  Have you got any cash for school lunches?” Steve called down the stairs as he tried to wrangle both Alice, Jacob, and Isabella down with their backpacks.  There was a familiar energy to the house that made it feel more like home than it had in months.  The same kind of noisy chaos from back before the blip, when you and Steve carried grief with you together, supporting each other in a way that had created a happy loving home.  That was how things had been lately.  Yes, it was different.  Jacob lived with Callie in the flat out the back, and Isabella only really came to stay one weekend out of three.  Yet, it was becoming normal again.  Not just normal.  Good.

It was Monday – the worst day for getting them all to school, and today was extra chaotic because Isabella had spent the weekend with you and Callie had been out late on a date.  You appreciated the time with just Steve, Bucky, and the kids, and even more, you appreciated the chaotic struggle to get them all out the door on time.

Bucky looked around from where he was packing the dishwasher.  “I don’t -” he called back, but you waved him off.

“I’ve got money!” you called up from where you were sitting at the table.  You grabbed your wallet from your handbag as Steve ushered the kids through the door.  The kids ran over and you handed over five dollars each to them as you gave each one a kiss and a hug.  You squeezed each of them tight and told them to be good.  When you reached Isabella, you smoothed your hands over her hair and kissed her forehead.  “I’ll see you in a couple of weeks,” you said.  “And make sure your mom and dad know about the thing at Luna Park.”

She squeezed you back.  “Okay, mom. I’ll tell ‘em.”

You got up and walked them all out the door.  Steve kissed your cheek as he passed you.  “Have a good day at work, honey.  I’ll see you tonight,” he said.

You wandered back into the kitchen, grabbing your plate and cup on the way to the sink.  You put them beside Bucky and before you moved away he grabbed your wrist and tugged you closer to him.  You smiled as he boxed you in between his arms.  “It’s nice, isn’t it?” he asked, leaning into you.

You had no idea what he was talking about and before you had a chance to ask, he’d pressed his lips against yours.  You hummed, wrapping your arms around his neck and parting your lips as his tongue coaxed them open.  It was still slightly strange being so domestic and affectionate with Bucky.  Not because you didn’t want it – it had just taken a while to get here, and there was still this tiny niggling part of you that thought of him as Steve’s Bucky.  With every day, every kiss, and every tender touch, that part was being pushed aside.  He was right.  It was nice.  Love was strange and hard to describe.  It came in all kinds of forms and there was no way to dictate how it would work or not.  When it did, it seeped through you and made you something better.

He pulled back and you chased his lips for a moment, before settling back against the counter.  You ran your hands down his chest.  “What’s nice?” you asked.

“That little bit of quiet just after they go to school,” he said.

You laughed and pressed your forehead against his.  “Call me crazy, but I like the noise.”

“Maybe you are crazy,” he said.  “But I do like it too.  I never thought – you know with everything that happened with me – I never thought I’d do the family thing.  But I love it.  I know you still feel guilty or doubt all of this, but Steve and I wouldn’t have done this.  Not without you.  You are good for him.  For us.”

“Bucky,” you breathed, leaning in and capturing his lips again.  He hummed into the kiss and circled his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

The back door rattled and the sound of Callie clearing her throat broke you both out of the private moment you were sharing.  You pulled apart with a laugh.

“Sorry to interrupt,” Callie said. “We’ve got to get to the train.”

“Right,” you said, pulling away from Bucky and grabbing your handbag.

“You were home late last night,” Bucky teased as you were grabbing your bag.  “What was it?  Two?”

“Two-thirty,” Callie smirked. “What were you doing up anyway?”

He shook his head.  “I sleep light.  It’s been drilled into me to be aware of sounds.  Maybe one-day doors opening won’t wake me up.  But today was not that day.” 

“Well, sorry,” she said.  “And thanks again for having Jacob.”

“Oh, you know that’s never a problem,” you said.  “We all had a great time last night.”

“You should let me take the kids one night, let you three have a date night.  You haven’t done that yet, right?” Callie asked.

You looked over at Bucky with your eyebrows raised. “I guess we haven’t,” you said.  “Yeah – we should.  A date night would be really good.”

Bucky nodded in agreement and kissed your cheek. “I’ll talk to Steve.  Have a good day at work.”

You smiled and gave his butt a playful smack, before heading out with Callie for work, your mind racing with ideas.


Date night happened the following Saturday.  It was something you planned and thought would either go really well or fail terribly.  Alice – who had never had to deal with any kind of separation anxiety – was happy to stay with Callie given she’d been babysat by the woman plenty of times in the past.  She had been finger painting with Jacob and both kids barely even looked up from what they were doing when you, Steve, and Bucky said goodbye to them.  It was a stark contrast to the dates you had gone on with Steve in the past where leaving always took a lot of bribery and false starts, or you ended up agreeing to take them with you.

The three of you piled into the back of an Uber for your first destination.  You were a little nervous when it pulled up to The City Reliquary.  You got up and led the two men to the door.  “What is this?” Steve asked as he looked up at the cute little shop front with ‘your community museum’ written over the door.

“A while back, a guy had a display of historic items from Brooklyn in his apartment window.  People used to stop by and look at them.  There was a button you could press and he had a recording explaining each of the items.  He also had maps you could take with information about Historic Brooklyn places.  It was really popular and in the end, he collected enough donations to make a museum.  It’s a community one focusing on the history of New York and Brooklyn specifically, but on a more human level.  Right now there’s a display on what happened here during the five years people were gone.  The big stuff like how buildings burned, and the small things like new school fads and slang that happen.  I have been told there’s stuff about me,” you explained as you stood outside with them. “Anyway, I thought – and if it’s stupid you can say and we’ll go to our next stop early – we could have a look around and maybe there will be stuff you missed you might find out and if you find things you recognize you can tell me about it.  Maybe it might be nice for the two of you to reminisce.”

“That is really sweet,” Steve said.  He leaned down and kissed you gently and reached out to take Bucky’s hand.

You led them both in and paid entry.  The space was small and there were a few people gathered around the display of the blip. The volunteer running things stared up at Steve and Bucky dumbstruck as they entered the building.  The three of you slowly made your way around the small space.  When you reached the display about the Stark Expo, Steve and Bucky stopped and grinned at each other.  It featured little souvenirs and posters from all three expos, but you could tell it was the 1943 Expo that was drawing their attention.

“Wow,” Steve said.  “That’s something.”

Bucky chuckled and clapped Steve on his shoulder. “Well, this is a story for her.”

Steve looked at him.  “You should start.”

Bucky looked over you with a bright smile.  You had never seen him smile like that before and it made your heart feel full. “So I was always this science nerd.  I’d been drafted by then, and I was shipping out, so Stevie agreed to go on a double date with me to the Stark Expo.  Poor Stevie, the girl I had set him up with…”

“Only had eyes for him,” Steve said.  “Back then he and I – we slipped sometimes – but you know we liked women and being with men was … well in practice it was against the law.  You called yourself a confirmed bachelor.  So we tried to pretend what we did was practice for the women.”

“The expo was – god – even now, with this-” he flexed his metal fingers, “- and all the time I spent in Wakanda, I still remember how awestruck I was.  So many of my memories from back then are just fog or gone altogether.  But I remember that.  That flying car?”

“The way it crashed down in the middle of the exhibition,” Steve added.

Bucky laughed.  It was deep and genuine and it made you feel light.  You took his hand as he nudged Steve.  “God – I can’t believe that there still aren’t any flying cars.  What a letdown.”

“Oh come on,” Steve said.  “We’ve seen things better than flying cars.” 

Bucky shook his head and lifted your hand to his lips and kissed your fingers.  “So – Steve’s date is ignoring him and he sees another recruitment office and ducks out on me.  The last day I’m home – the jerk.”

“That was the time I got accepted to the super-soldier program,” Steve said.

You’d gathered a small crowd around you by the time they’d finished the story, including the volunteer running the museum.

“Captain Rogers, did you see the display over there?” a middle-aged woman asked, pointing to the far end of the room.

You, Steve, and Bucky looked over and Steve tilted his head and approached it.  The little crowd followed along.  There was a Captain America display taking up half the far wall.  Unlike the one at the Smithsonian, this one focused on him and his connection to Brooklyn.  There were photos of the building he grew up in.  Old recruitment and USO show tour posters featuring him.  There were comic books and collectors’ cards and vintage toys.  Right in the middle of the collection, stuck to the wall was a yellow cab door that had bullet holes in it.

“Holy…” Steve said as he looked up at it.  “Can I touch it?” 

“I guess if anyone can, it’s you,” the volunteer said.

Steve reached up and ran his fingers over the bullet hold in the door.  “God… I can’t believe it.”

“What is it?” you asked.

“When I was given the serum – things went badly.  There was a HYDRA agent and he killed some people.  I’d just gotten this body and I wasn’t used to it.  I went chasing after this guy, and I’m just slamming into walls, knocking people over.  I crashed through the window of a bridal shop.  I wasn’t used to being this big or fast, you see.  Anyway, at one point I’m jumping from car roof to car roof and I land on the cab he’d stolen.  He tries to shake me off but ends up rolling it.  The door goes flying off, and he jumps out and starts firing at me.  I pick it up and use it as a shield.  I guess – that was Captain America’s first shield.”

The little audience was wrapped in the story.  One of the guys standing near you pointed at the door.  “It even has the star,” he said.

Steve chuckled and stood back looking at it.  “Huh,” he said.  “What do you know?”

As Steve spoke to the little group Bucky began to look in the cases that contained the comics and trading cards.  “Hey,” Bucky said, pointing to a book at the back of the case.  “What’s that?”

“Oh,” said the volunteer, grabbing their keys.  “That’s yours.”  He unlocked the cabinet and took out the book, handing it over.  You watched him as he opened it to the first page and tears pricked his eyes.  Steve was still talking to the group of other museum-goers, so you moved closer to Bucky.

“What have you got there?” you asked.

“The Hobbit.  My parents got it for me when it came out.  I was really into science fiction and fantasy.  Look -” he turned the book to show you a personalized inscription in scrawling black ink.

‘To Jimmy,

Always dream big

Love

Dad and Ma.’

“Jimmy?” you said, nudging him.

“They called me Bucky more.  But I was Jim or Jimmy if it was written or they were introducing me to other adults.  And James if I was in trouble,” Bucky said.  He looked over at the volunteer.  “Where did you get this?”

“I’ll have to check,” he said.  “And uh – I know it’s technically yours but if you take it now, I’ll get in big trouble.”

Bucky shook his head.  “It’s okay.  It can stay here.  I’m just curious how it got here.”

He handed the book back and the volunteer locked it back up and hurried down to the front counter.  “What are you thinking, Jimmy?” you asked.

Bucky stifled a laugh and shook his head.  “You’re never gonna let me live that down are you?”

“Nope,” you said.

Bucky looked down to the front counter and then at Steve who was now taking selfies with the other patrons.  “I left that book with my sister.  I don’t know.  I know she can’t be alive, but maybe it stayed in the family somehow?”

You took his hand and he tugged you in closed and wrapped his arms around you. The volunteer returned with a little pink post-it note with some names scribbled on it.  “It came from a Scott Proctor who said he was related to you.  But not how.  This is his number.”

“Do you know that name?” you asked as he looked at the note.

Bucky shook his head and tucked the paper into his pocket.  “No.  But that doesn’t mean anything.  If Becky had kids.”

“Wait…” you said.  “Bucky and Becky?”

Bucky covered his face with both his hands.  “Oh god.  No.  Why did I tell you that?”

Steve approached you both and the three of you continued the tour around the museum.  After you’d seen all there was to see and gotten a slew of stories from their childhood, Steve and Bucky posed for a photo with the volunteer and the three of you headed out and flagged down a cab.

“To the Brooklyn Farmacy and Soda Fountain, please,” you said to the driver before settling back in between the two large men.  “I hope that was okay.  I should have expected people would want to talk to you there.”

“It was actually really great,” Steve said.  “I normally hate the celebrity part of my life, but seeing all those things from when I was a kid… I liked it.  It felt more like sharing things about my life in my home than just talking about Captain America.”

You cuddled up to him and kissed his cheek. “That’s what I was hoping.”

He leaned down and rubbed his nose against yours.  “Speaking of which, did you say soda fountain?  I didn’t think there were soda fountains anymore.”

“They’re around.  Not too many make their own soda, but this one does.  And egg creams,” you said.

Bucky’s face lit up.  “No wonder you married her,” he said.

You and Steve started laughing, and you elbowed Bucky.  “I’m so excited that you’re excited.  I thought we could get a drink and something to eat, and then head to the movies.  There’s a cinema near the fountain that’s been there since you were kids, and it’s playing the Wizard of Oz.”

Steve wrapped an arm around you and cuddled you against him.  “You really went all out.”

“Just like one of our double dates back when we were kids,” Bucky added.

Steve chuckled.  “Yeah, but this time everyone is going home with me.” 


// NEXT

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