Posted in fanfiction, reader insert, steve rogers

The Pain in Serendipity – 15

The Pain in Serendipity – A Captain America Fanfic

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Character Pairing:  Steve Rogers x F!Reader, Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers (possible polyamory in future).

Rating: E

Word Count:  1799

Warnings: angst, blip stuff

Synopsis:   When Thanos snaps his fingers it takes your daughter and Steve Rogers’ first love with it.  Together you pick up the pieces, falling in love and building a family together.  Finding serendipity in your shared trauma.  When opportunity comes to bring back those who are lost comes with the risk of more loss for you both.  Is it worth taking the risk?

Chapter 15

You were exhausted before you even made it home.  You had needed two taxis to get you there because Callie didn’t want to be separated from Jacob but Jacob didn’t want to be separated from you.  You were thankful really.  You were absolutely not ready to let Jacob go yet.  You didn’t think you would ever be – but not today with everything else that was happening.

You had sent Steve multiple texts while you were in the cab.  You knew he wouldn’t get to them for a long time, and there was part of you hating him for that. You needed him.  You were barely holding it together and you needed your husband here to help pick this apart.  You also hated yourself for thinking that.

The two little kids who had been waiting for some adult to come and tell them everything was okay were sitting on the floor in the living room watching cartoons when you got home.  You had to push all your stress and pain back again as you approached them.  “Hey there,” you said.  “I’m the person you called.  Are you guys doing okay?”

“I want my mommy,” the little girl cried when she saw you.

You went and crouched in front of her.  “I know, sweetie.  I’m sure she’s coming here right now.  You just have to be patient.”  You knew there would be a way to track their parents down, the phone networks were a mess though, and it was hard enough to get through to people whose numbers you did know.

You looked around at who was there.  Five kids, four of them under five years old, and Callie who still looked shell-shocked.  Ryan was on his way.  You hadn’t heard if he’d gotten in contact with his parents yet and if he had would they be on their way here too.  There was too much too quickly.  You doubted if anywhere would be delivering food right now or even if you could get through on the phone network and order something if they did.  The thought of cooking a meal felt too much for you, but feeding everyone was the only thing you could settle on as a way to keep people calm.

“Okay, so,” she said, to the little kids.  “I don’t know if you know this, but Captain America lives in your house now.  And he should be back today.  So you’re both very safe here.”

“Captain America?” the boy asked.

“That’s right,” you said.  “So I promise, nothing bad will happen to you.  We’ll just wait for your mommy to come to get you.  What are your names?”

“I’m Kai,” the little boy said.  “And this is Lara.”’

“Okay, Kai, Lara – this is Alice, J.J., and Isabella.  You guys want to watch TV and I’ll make something for dinner?  Hopefully, your mommy will call while I’m doing that,” you said.

The kids all moved tentatively to watch TV too, and you kissed them each on the head.  Callie sat down on the recliner, her eyes glued to Jacob.  She still hadn’t fully accepted that he was her son, yet she seemed to be worried that if she took her eyes off him she’d miss another five years.

You went into the kitchen, leaned against the cabinet, and started to silently cry.  All the pressure of everything that was happening weighed you down.  You’d spent five years trying to help children find safe homes with people who would love them and it was about to blow up for all of them.  You included.

The pain drowned out everything, so you didn’t hear the door open.  It wasn’t until his hand was on your shoulder that you realized Ryan was even there.  “Mom?” he said softly.

“Ryan,” you said quickly, wiping your eyes with your sleeve.  “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Are you okay?” he asked.

You nodded and hugged him.  “It’s okay.  Just… feeling a little stressed.”

“Have you heard from dad?” he asked.

You shook your head.  “No.  But – I mean – you saw the news.  I’m sure he’s fine.  But that was intense.  Did you track down your parents?”

“The phone network is jammed up.  I finally got through to my dad.  My biological dad.  He said he’d find mom and meet us here,” Ryan explained.  “Mom – what’s going to happen with Bella and J.J.?”

You shook your head and tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to break again.  That was the question that had been plaguing you so much, and the fact you hadn’t considered that Ryan, Isabella, and Jacob might end up split from their siblings too.  They all suffered from separation anxiety as it was, this was going to be devastating for them.  “I don’t know, honey.  I wish I could tell you.”

He sagged a little and shook his head.  “I’m glad my parents are back,” he said.  “And I’m really happy that you’ve got Alice back, I can’t wait to get to know her… but I’m 19.  I don’t live with you guys anyway.  I can choose when to go visit people and it doesn’t necessarily mean I see them any less.  I mean – I guess if J.J. or Bella’s parents don’t let me see them…”

“I’m sure that won’t happen,” you assured him quickly.

He nodded and sighed.  “That’s not going to be the same for them though, is it?  If you lose custody, they’re going to lose a family all over again.”

“Let’s not assume the worst,” you say, rubbing his arm.  “We don’t know how this is going to play out.  We just have to wait and see what happens.”

“Are you making dinner?” Ryan asked.

“Yeah, I think everyone should eat,” you agreed.

“Can I help you?” Ryan asked.

You smiled and hugged him again.  “You’re such a sweetheart, Ry.”

Halfway through dinner preparation, there was a knock on the door.  Ryan looked at you with fearful excitement.  “Do you want me to get the door?” you asked.

“Please,” he said.

You went to the door and pulled it open.  You recognized them right away.  Their photos had been on the wall of Ryan’s room for five years.  They looked scared and confused but much more together than Callie was.

“Hi – hello, we’re Nick and Sophie – Ryan’s parents… I guess you are too,” Ryan’s father stammered.

“Yeah, he’s a little nervous.  A lot of time has passed,” you said.  “I think we’re all a little freaked out.  Come in.”

You stepped out of the way of the door and Sophie stopped and wrapped her arms around you, a choked sob escaping as she buried her face in your neck.  “Thank you for taking care of him.”

You wrapped your arms around him and rubbed her back as tears began to run down your cheeks.  The relief you felt, and the pride in yourself reared up and pushed out the fear that had been clouding everything.  These people weren’t here to take Ryan from you.  They’d missed so much and they were grateful you’d been there when they couldn’t be.  “It was my pleasure, honestly.  He is such a good kid.  The things he did… you should be so proud of him.”

She sobbed against you and you rubbed her back soothingly.  “It’s okay.  I can’t even imagine how hard this is for you.”

“I just – we were supposed to be the ones -” she sobbed.

“I know.  He’s here now,” you whispered.  “He’s been waiting a long time to see you again.”

She pulled away and wiped the tears from her face.  “Okay,” she whispered.  “Thank you.”

You lead them to the kitchen and Ryan turned and shifted on his feet as he looked at his parents.  Not sure if he should run to them and hug them or wait for them to approach him.

“Ryan…?” Sophie whispered.

“Mom… dad… I -”

Whatever Ryan was going to say was cut off as Sophie and Nick ran to him and wrapped him in their arms.  You felt like an intruder on their moment, watching as these three people were reunited after so long.  Unfortunately, your pasta sauce was starting to bubble over.

You squeezed past them and went back to cooking.  They ended up going outside to catch up.  Everything was starting to feel so surreal that your emotions were shutting off again.  It was a lot like when everyone disappeared in the first place.  The feelings were so strong you just switched them off completely to get through it all.

The meal was on the table and everyone was eating by the time you heard the front door open again.  The surreal collection of people who were all gathered around had started to open up a little.  Ryan had been filling his parents in on everything they missed and Jacob and Isabella were telling the other three little ones about shows they’d seen.

The front door opened and you and Ryan quickly got to your feet.  Jacob and Isabella looked up at you both and then toward the front hall where the sound of someone was traveling through the doors.

“Daddy?” Jacob said.

“Just wait here, okay?” you said.  “Finish your dinner.”

You hurried out to the door.  Steve was in his uniform and he looked – broken.  There was no other word for it.  His arm was in a sling and his face was smeared with dirt.  There were two people behind him, and while you recognized them both as Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes, you couldn’t even acknowledge them.  Your eyes were glued to your husband.  “Oh, Steve,” you said, putting your hand to your mouth.

“I’m okay,” he said, holding out his arm to you.

You rushed to him and wrapped your arms around him, the tears spilling out as you finally let yourself feel the things you’d been holding back.  “Steve… Callie’s here.  And Ryan’s parents.  There are some more kids… I don’t know what to do.  What happened to you?  What happened?”

“Thanos came again,” he said, softly.  “We lost Tony.”

“Oh god,” you sobbed.  “Steve…”

“I’m home.  I’ve got you,” he soothed, his good arm rubbing your back in soothing circles.

Bucky cleared his throat beside you both.  “Steve…?” he said softly, and you pulled back and looked at him.  Your eyes met and you knew, this man who had been through more than you could ever imagine was feeling completely lost here.  You had no idea what Steve had told him.  Surely they’d talked on the way over her.

Steve pulled back from you and patted Bucky on the shoulder.  “Honey,” he said to you.  “This is Bucky and Sam.  Hope it’s okay they’re here.  The compound… isn’t a compound anymore.  Sam, Bucky – this is my wife.”


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