Moving On: A Falcon & Captain Marvel Fanfic
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Character Pairing: Sam Wilson x F!Reader, Carol Danvers x F! Reader
Word Count: 2217
Warnings: angst, smut (FF, vaginal fingering)
Synopsis: You thought Sam Wilson was the love of your life. You had planned to do it all with him – marriage, kids, see the world. Even when you’re life gets turned upside down, and you both end up international fugitives, he’s there by your side.
Then Thanos comes.
When Sam is one of the many turned to dust, leaving you alone and pregnant, you don’t think you’ll ever stop grieving. Yet, everyone tells you that Sam would want you to move on and live your life – that he’d want you to be happy.
Gradually you open your heart up to another. Carol Danvers has lost people too. First her daughter, then her wife. As the two of you lean on each other, feelings grow and you move on together.
So what happens when Sam is returned to you?
Chapter 21: A Tangled Web
You were beginning to wonder how many times your world could be ripped apart before you no longer had the energy to pick up the pieces again.
Things had not been going smoothly.
Not that anyone was trying to make things difficult. No one was intentionally causing trouble or even letting any of their hurt or trauma get in the way of figuring out what needed to happen from here on out. The problem was the rest of the world. The sudden arrival of billions of people had thrown the world into turmoil. The world had moved on so much since half the population had turned to dust. Children had been adopted. People had moved into new homes and gotten new jobs. Then everyone reappeared and now people who had blipped suddenly found themselves without homes or jobs and their kids five years older and being raised by completely different people.
Thankfully, Bruce had told you that he’d wished for everyone to return safely because as a physicist he’d been acutely aware of not only the risk of people suddenly existing in the exact same place at the exact same time – but also that the earth’s orbit and the movement of the galaxy meant that there would have been a risk of everyone just reappearing into the void of space.
There was a lot of chaos. In some places, riots had broken out, and even in the more peaceful towns, there were a lot of disputes breaking out over homeownership. The Avengers had been run off their feet.
You’d thought maybe there was something broken in you when you’d finally been told that Natasha had died getting back the stones. You should have broken down into tears. She’d been your closest friend for so long and now she was gone and you only felt numb. Like it was the one thing that your mind couldn’t process. The enormous boulder that had been placed onto the mountain that your proverbial donkey had been carrying that had broken its back.
It was all too much. There had been no time to deal with the fact that Natasha and Tony had both died. There had been no time to deal with the fact that Carol had been called back to Alpha Flight and had been delaying her return because of how chaotic everything had been on Earth. There was barely even any time to eat and sleep let alone figure out what to do about the fact you were now inadvertently in a relationship with two people and your four-year-old daughter had just met her father.
Kit was holding up very well. It was surprising how well considering how chaotic everything was. Due to Bruce’s injury, he was staying at home and recuperating; he’d offered to take care of Kit while you, Carol, and Sam went out to put out spot fires. She enjoyed spending time with Bruce who was an expert at doing fun kid’s science experiments these days, and as she was used to going to daycare while you worked it wasn’t unusual for her to be away from you during the day. So for her, she was getting to spend time with her funny uncle and her dad was back. She got to hang out with her dad at her uncle Steve’s place with a brand new uncle Bucky and then she came home to you and Carol at the hotel you were staying at, and it had a pool.
For you, there was a ticking clock counting down to a talk that you needed to have and a decision that you didn’t want to make, and you had no time to spend with the people whose lives would be changed forever based on the decision you made.
The thing was, it wasn’t just about picking Sam or Carol. Sam had been so hurt, you weren’t even sure he wanted you anymore. You knew he logically understood you hadn’t been cheating on him, but you could imagine that being in his position it would feel like you had been. One second being in a happy relationship and the next to find out that the person you were with had been seeing another person for four years would definitely feel like betrayal. And maybe – maybe – if it was just a case of it being you, Sam, and Carol you might leave with Carol. Hurting Sam was awful, but you were doing it every second you dragged this out and if you cut and run, it would be like tearing off a band-aid, pain, and then healing.
It wasn’t just you, Sam, and Carol though. There was Kit too. Kit, who had a mama in Carol and a daddy in Sam. Kit, who had grown up on a space station and thought of coming back to Earth as a holiday. There was no choice you could make that wouldn’t hurt Kit. It didn’t exist.
It had been a long day. Tony’s funeral was soon and you still hadn’t had a chance to even grieve for him and Natasha. You got back to the hotel and went straight to the bath. Sam was picking up Kit from Bruce to get some one-on-one time with her and you had about an hour before he brought her around and you needed to wash off the day you’d had of breaking up fights and acting as a public mediator to conflicts where no one’s opinion was wrong.
You had sunk into the warm, scented water when Carol came in. “That looks nice. Would you like some company?” she asked.
“Mm-hmm…” you hummed, swishing the water with your legs. “Come in.”
She stripped off her flight suit and hung it up before climbing into the bath opposite you, caging you between her legs. “This is nice,” she hummed. “When is Kit getting back?”
“In an hour,” you said. “Sam’s taking her to the park.”
“That’ll be good for them,” she said. Her face fell, and she looked down into the water and sighed sadly. “I don’t want to sound like I’m pushing you into his arms. Sometimes I feel like the things I say might sound like I’m trying to get rid of you.”
You shook your head. “No. Carol – I was there with you nursing for Maria. I know how you love people, and I know you want me.”
“Okay then,” she said, meeting your eyes. “Because I think you need to go out alone with Sam. Like… on a date.”
“I’m not sure he wants that,” you said with a frown. “He keeps looking at me with such pain. Like I’m breaking his heart.”
Carol took your hand and tugged it. You let her guide you so you were sitting laying against her, tucked between her legs as she held you. “Sam still loves you and I know you still love him. But you have changed in the past five years and he hasn’t. You need to get to know him again and figure out how you feel. You’ve been haunted by his ghost for five years, and now; here he is. You have him back. You need to figure out how you feel about that. Maybe he will never come to terms with the fact you moved on while he was gone, but you never really moved on either. I mean… not all of you did. And I know you love me, I do. And I love you, and I love Kit and I do not want to lose you, but – what are you going to do? Babe – what are you going to do?”
You started to cry in her arms, and a strong part of you wanted to pull away from her, but she held you close and put her chin on top of your head. “Shh… I know. I know this is impossible for you. You know if I could stay here and work out some kind of shared polyamorous custody arrangement of you and Kit, I’d totally do it, right? I want you and she’s my daughter. I don’t want to miss out on another kid growing up. But I have to go back out there. I’m avoiding my responsibilities because everything is a mess here, but it’s a mess everywhere and I have this thing in me that can help right it. I can’t just keep that for myself.”
“I know,” you sobbed. “Out there is my home. And it’s Kit’s home too.”
“But you can’t take her from her dad,” Carol said. “Not now she’s just got him back.”
“You’re her mother too,” you argued.
“I know,” she sighed. “I know. And he still has a part of your heart. So you have to figure out what you’re going to do here. You need to spend some time with him and work it out. I’m going to have to leave after the funeral and I need to know what the plan is.”
“What if I realize I do love him and he loves me and he wants to try but not if I’m with you?” you asked.
She shrugged. “That’s a decision you have to make. It’s your decision. Not mine.”
“It affects you,” you argued.
“Of course it does!” She barked, making you jump a little. She sighed and rubbed her cheek on your shoulder. “Babe… I want you to come with me. I don’t care if Sam comes too. I can share you. But I want you to come home and our lives to get back to normal. I want to get ready for work in the morning with you. I want to get Kit her cereal and watch cartoons with her. I want to come home to dinner cooking and read her a bedtime story and go to bed with you and fuck your brains out. I don’t want to lose any of that. I fucking love you, okay? I love you!” She took a deep breath and wiped away the tears that had formed that were making her eyes shine. She sighed and shook her head. “But I can’t tell you what to do. I can’t make this decision for you. I can’t make Sam be okay with any of this. If I could magically make all this okay for you I would. But I can’t. I can’t, sweetheart.”
You turned your head and kissed her deeply. She kissed back with a fierce intensity, her hand going to your hair, holding you into place. Her free hand moved between your legs and she began to palm your cunt.
You tried to move so you were straddling her lap and she held you in place at your pubic bone. “No,” she breathed, barely breaking the kiss so her lips brushed over yours as she spoke. “I want to give this to you.”
You relaxed back against her and spread your legs. Her fingers slipped between your folds and she began circling your clit. She painted it in random shapes. Sometimes large and wide and others small and tight. You moaned and your fluids – sticky and heady – dripped from you and painted her fingers, adding to the water to allow her hand to move more freely around your labia.
As the warm buzz spread through you, she pinched your clitoral hood and slid it back and then forward again, over the tiny bundle of nerves. You gasped at the sudden intensity and let your head fall back on her shoulder. You relaxed into her touch, giving in to the warm current drifting out through you from your cunt. “That’s it,” Carol praised. “I love you so much. Relax. Let me give this to you.”
“I love you too, Carol,” you whimpered, starting to rut up against her hand. Her fingers moved faster and faster on your clit. You started to pant as your orgasm built and pressed down deep in your core. The pressure was intense and you bucked your hips as you chased its release.
Carol pinched your clit and it sent a sudden jolt tearing through you. You jerked up hard, your legs trembling as your orgasm hit. “Fuck!” you cried, arching your back.
“There you go,” she praised as she slowed her fingers. “That’s it.”
You turned your head and kissed her tenderly, trying to express your feelings without words, when you pulled back she pulled you into her lap. “I love you, Carol.”
“I know you do,” she said. “I know. I’m sorry you have to go through this. I love you so much. If I could take it away I would.”
“I just want everyone to be happy,” you said. “I want … I want Sam to forgive me and move in with us in space and us to be a happy space family.”
She chuckled. “Would we have to all sleep in the same bed?”
“Yes,” you said. “Great big circle bed.”
“A circle one?” she asked.
“Yeah. Big circle. Then there’s no wrong side.”
Carol laughed and nuzzled at your neck. “I love you so much, you dork,” she said. “Spend some time with Sam. See if you guys can work something out.”
You nodded and relaxed against her, hoping you could untangle this whole thing so that everyone could be happy. You didn’t like your chances.