Posted in fanfiction, reader insert, tony stark

Mauerbauertraurigkeit

Tony Stark x Reader
Synopsis:  Tony Stark refuses to let you get close.
Prompt: Tony Stark + Mauerbauertraurigkeit


Mauerbauertraurigkeit

n. the inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like

Tony had thought he liked you.  You seemed to get him in ways very few other people did.  Never being a sycophant but still understanding where he was coming from.  Listening to him and when the words he said didn’t match the things he was thinking, you seemed to interpret it.  You were on the same wavelength.  Reading the same book.  Your souls were aligned.

He’d never really had that before.  There was always some … thing … not quite lining up.  Whether it be values or timing or they just straight-up were trying to have him killed.  When he cared about people he got hurt.

And here you were.  Just perfect.  Well for him.  So obviously there was something wrong.  Maybe you were lying about it.  Maybe it was an elaborate game to get to his money, or the suits, or to have him taken out.  Or maybe not.  Maybe you really were just like that.  Maybe … maybe for this brief moment in time you were his soul mate.  His person.

It wouldn’t last though.   It never did for him.  There was always some but waiting around the corner and written in huge capital letters.

People always said it was better to have loved and lost than to ever have loved at all.  Tony had been doubting that a lot lately.  Losing hurt like hell and he didn’t think his heart could take it anymore.

Better to not have it in the first place.

So he would push.

In the long run whatever your intention, however pure you may be, no matter how great, and amazing and right you were for him, if he pushed now before anyone was invested, no one could get hurt.

It wasn’t what he wanted.  Tony wanted nothing more than a happy ending.  A happy marriage.  Maybe some kids.  You could be that person.  The Ying to his Yang.  It wasn’t worth the risk.

Being alone and in his suit fighting for the things he believed in might get him injured, but nothing hurt as much as finding out he was still unworthy of love.

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